Life is full of ups and downs, but a little humour and a positive mindset can be the perfect combo to keep us moving forward.
Have you heard the saying positive thoughts lead to a positive life?
There’s a reason this cliche is true, but sometimes daily the wording of more traditional affirmations can feel a bit corny or contrived. And when they feel icky, we’re less likely to incorporate them into our daily lives.
Laughter Really is the Best Medicine
Positive statements don’t always have to be serious—sometimes, a good laugh is a powerful tool to shake off negative energy and welcome in the good vibes each day.
It’s no secret that I love positive affirmations. And as much as I love personal development aids, my preference is always being silly over being serious. So regular affirmations can leave me feeling like a bit of a …knob.
And if I feel a bit silly when I’m saying them, the affirmations aren’t likely to have the positive effect I was searching for in the first place…
I’ve compiled some of my favourite, funny affirmations to offer you a quick mood boost and help brighten your world.
Because at the end of the day, a sense of humour is one of the most powerful tools we can use to see us through a difficult situation.
Short Funny Positive Affirmations
Channel your inner comedian with these punchy one-liners. Straight to the point and ready to tickle your funny bone and add a humorous twist to your daily routine.
- I will outlive all my enemies.
- I am capable of great things. But fuck that shit – I’m going to watch TikTok all day.
- Please, just make it stop.
- Everything will be okay. Not great but okay.
- Everything will be okay*. (*results may vary)
- I am loved. (only by my mum but hey, it’ll do.)
- I accept myself as I am right now. A hot mess.
- Bad vibes don’t go with my outfit.
- I am made for this. Sitting at home looking ugly in my PJ’s.
- Every day, I get in my way.
- Dance like nobody attractive is watching.
- I’m exactly where I need to be. At home avoiding people.
- I am enough. Not the best. But it’ll do.
- Know your worth and then add tax.
- You can’t kill my vibe. It’s already dead.
- If life give you melons you might be dyslexic.
- Today, have the confidence of a mediocre white dude with a trust fund.
- You have to be odd to be number one.
- More spaghetti, less regretti.
Famous funny positive affirmations and quotes
- “I am a strong, independent acid snake in the skinsuit of a strong, independent woman.” — The Good Place
- “Onwards! Upwards! With reckless optimism! And always twirling, twirling, TWIRLING towards freedom!” — The Simpsons
- “I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going. To have troubles with me!” — Dr Seuss
- “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde.” — Dolly Parton
- If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.” — Conan O’Brien
- “If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.” — Taylor Swift
- “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!” — H.S. Thompson
- “I look like me and that’s enough.” — Gina Rodriguez
- “Today I shall behave as if this is the day I’ll be remembered.” — Dr Seuss
- “I don’t really think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.” — Ellen Degeneres
- “Yeah, I pretty much never sit by the pool anymore.” — Marco Polo
- “Am I good enough? Yes, I am.” — Michelle Obama
- “I don’t do drugs. I am drugs.” — Salvador Dali
- “Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances and never have regrets. Because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.” — Marilyn Monroe
- “You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
- Keep seeing the glass half-empty and it will dawn upon you that it’s probably your turn to buy.” — Bill Murray
- “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” — Neil Patrick Harris
- There’s nothing that I can do to mess up my glorious life… Except maybe dating Pete Davidson
- Today I’m channeling lead singer energy. I am the Beyoncé of my Destiny’s Child.
Funny Sweary Affirmations For Adults
NSFW but right at home in your family or friends group chat – these affirmations are a little bit naughty, a little bit unexpected and guaranteed to bring a lot of laughs!
- Today I will stop overthinking everything. I am the only one who really cares about this shit anyway.
- I love myself. I think I’m grand! When I go out, I hold my hand. I put my arm around my waist. When I get fresh, I slap my face!
- Today I will take control of my emotions. I’m choosing to be a fucking mess.
- I am capable of making good decisions. And fucking amazing at making bad ones.
- Dance like everyone else can go fuck themselves.
- Today I’ll be a fucking ray of sunshine.
- The only person I can truly rely on is me. What a fucking nightmare.
- I am like a candle. If you forget me I will BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN.
- I am my own best friend. Other people are total dicks.
- What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour. But it makes you really interesting at parties.
- Fuck Yes, I am.
- Don’t just be a fuckup. Be the best fuckup you can be.
- Today I choose to move the fuck on.
- I trust in myself because I’m a total badass.
More funny affirmations to boost your mood and mental health
- Laughter really is the best medicine. Especially when you’ve forgotten to pick up your prescription and the chemist is closed.
- If cauliflower can become pizza, I can do anything.
- If I could believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, I can believe in myself for like 5 minutes
- I deserve a break from my brain.
- Dear Universe, I am totally open to receiving the amazing things coming my way. For example, a lottery win.
- I have no time for stress and worries because I’m too busy being awesome
- Reach for the stars because at the very least it’ll air out your armpits.
- You can do it! (but you probably won’t).
- Today I won’t let anyone make me feel bad about myself. That’s my job. No one does it better than me.
- I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Because I make terrible decisions.
- I am amazing (for someone whose life is a total mess).
- I am the CEO of my own chaos, and business is booming!
- Today I am as focused. Like a cat and a laser pointer.
- I’m too busy watering my own grass to notice if yours is greener.
- Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
- I can do this. I channel my inner seabird. They’re called a Peli-can not a Peli-can’t.
- I make things happen. Not the things I need to make happen. But things still happen.
More Favourite Funny Affirmations
- Smile, it suits you.
- I’m not weird, just limited edition.
- Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so I go back to being me.
- Today I think like a proton – always positive.
- I don’t procrastinate, I strategically build anticipation.
- I always arrive late for work but make up for it by leaving early.
- I’m like a fine wine, I get better with age.
- I don’t wear the opinions of others. I learned to dress myself.
- I’m indestructible. Like a single-use plastic bag
- I’m like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
- May your morning coffee give you the strength to make it to your mid-morning coffee.
- Reminder: There is no such thing as a bad idea, just awesome ideas with terrible execution.
Awesome ways daily funny affirmations help you live your best life
1. Encourages a Positive Outlook and Better Mood
Even when your life is in the toilet, there’s always something to be grateful for… or is there? In any case, positive funny affirmations help you to start your day on a positive note.
Even if that note is just making fun of your negative thoughts – it’s a start! If traditional affirmations just aren’t it for you, taking the piss out of a situation can be just the thing to turn a bad day on its head.
2. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
Affirmations can be a powerful tool for reinforcing your self-worth. Even if your daily positive affirmations are a bit tongue-in-cheek – the most important thing with affirmations is repetition.
If you repeat them enough times – there’s a good chance you’ll start believing them…
3. Reduces Stress Levels and Nix Negative Vibes
Taking a deep breath and practicing affirmations can reduce stress by helping you shift away from worry or fear.
The simple act of repeating affirmations – even funny ones, gives you a sense of control, helping you with stress reduction and in maintaining a calm, positive mindset.
There’s even evidence that positive emotions can go a long way in boosting overall health, like your immune system, too – winning!
4. Cultivates Gratitude and Joy
Humorous affirmations are a way of injecting a little humour into your day and remind you not to take life too seriously.
By focusing on the funny side of things, cheeky affirmations help you cultivate a positive outlook on life, making it easier to feel grateful, joyful, and at peace with your surroundings.
Plus the benefits of a good belly laugh are well documented in boosting mood and facilitating stress relief.
Do you have any go-to funny affirmations that you use in daily life?
Let me know in the comments below.
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Your blog is a breath of fresh air in the often mundane world of online content. Your unique perspective and engaging writing style never fail to leave a lasting impression. Thank you for sharing your insights with us.
Thanks, appreciate your feedback!
Great affirmations. Made me smile until I saw the person who is causing irreparable division in our country.
Yikes, yes apologies – this was made before November 2024