Finding the Funny Side of Growing Older

With the new year suddenly flying by, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting.

I know I’m far from my ‘golden years‘ but it feels like life is hurtling past faster than ever.

My children are growing up at a frightening speed, I’ve had a sore hip for no apparent reason and everywhere I look on social media, women seem to be ageing in reverse?

It’s a lot.

So, I decided to hit pause on the anti-ageing hamster wheel, take a deep breath and appreciate the lighter side of this beautifully chaotic process called getting older – instead of feeling like it’s something I’m fighting.

Laughing Through The Years: Wrinkles, Wisdom and Witty Quotes 

Aging isn’t just about wrinkles and grey hair (although realistically, this comes with the territory); it’s also about everyday moments that catch us off guard, make us laugh, and remind us that life is full of surprises.

From creaking joints to reading glasses, these things are more than just “symptoms”—they’re part of the tapestry of a life well-lived.

I’ve rounded up a collection of humorous poems and witty observations that celebrate aging. These verses offer a good laugh, a dose of perspective, and maybe even a little wisdom.

It’s my way of celebrating the changes that come with each passing year. And I hope they inspire you to embrace ageing (or life-ing as I recently heard Pamela Anderson quip) instead of lamenting it. And to remind yourself that you are enough, exactly as you are.

Because what better way to tackle the aging process than with a great sense of humour and a cheeky rhyme or two?

Collection of Funny Poems to Celebrate Getting Old

Some of these are short poems (perfect to include in a birthday card) and some are a longer look at some of the physical battles of ageing like grey hair, bladder weakness and hair thinning.

But they also have common themes of wisdom, friendship and the precious moments we have the privilege of accumulating in a long and happy life.

Lighthearted Poems About Getting Older

On Aging

When you see me sitting quietly,

Like a sack left on the shelf,

Don’t think I need your chattering.

I’m listening to myself.

Hold! Stop! Don’t pity me!

Hold! Stop your sympathy!

Understanding if you got it,

Otherwise I’ll do without it!

When my bones are stiff and aching,

And my feet won’t climb the stair,

I will only ask one favor:

Don’t bring me no rocking chair.

When you see me walking, stumbling,

Don’t study and get it wrong.

‘Cause tired don’t mean lazy

And every goodbye ain’t gone.

I’m the same person I was back then,

A little less hair, a little less chin,

A lot less lungs and much less wind.

But ain’t I lucky I can still breathe in.

– Maya Angelou

Missing 

I’ve hunted near, I’ve hunted far
I even looked inside my car.
I’ve lost my glasses, I’m in need,
To have them now so I can read.
I loudly swear and I curse
Did I leave them in my purse?
Are they behind the sofa, under the bed?
Oh there they are—on my head!

– Anne Scott

Don’t Change On My Account

If you’re sloppy, that’s just fine.

If you’re moody, I won’t mind.

If you’re fat, that’s fine with me.

If you’re skinny, let it be.

If you’re bossy, that’s alright.

If you’re nasty, I won’t fight.

If you’re rough, well that’s just you.

If you’re mean, that’s alright too.

Whatever you are is all okay.

I don’t like you anyway.

– Shel Silverstein

Inventory 

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

– Dorothy Parker

Warning

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple,

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves,

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired,

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain,

And pick flowers in other people’s gardens,

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,

Or only bread and pickle for a week,

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,

And pay our rent and not swear in the street,

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised,

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

– Jenny Joseph

Where The Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends

and before the street begins,

and there the grass grows soft and white,

and there the sun burns crimson bright,

and there the moon-bird rests from his flight

to cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black

and the dark street winds and bends.

Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow

we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow

and watch where the chalk-white arrows go

to the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,

and we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,

for the children, they mark, and the children, they know,

the place where the sidewalk ends.

– Shel Silverstein

Now We Are Six

When I was One,

I had just begun.

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

When I was Three

I was hardly me.

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

But now I am Six,

I’m as clever as clever,

So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.

– A. A. Milne

Twelve Don’ts For The Aged

Don’t neglect your daily bath.

Don’t become a psychopath.

Don’t say all the best has gone.

Don’t go on and on and on.

Don’t decide to grow a beard

Don’t do anything too weird.

Don’t rub pigfat on yer bonce.

Don’t make scenes in restaurants.

Don’t be stingy: tip the waiter.

Don’t become a couch potater.

Don’t spend every evening plastered.

Don’t be such a dismal bastard.

– John Whitworth

Short Funny Quotes About Aging Gracefully

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. – Charles Theodore ‘Chili’ Davis

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

The wise mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind. – William Wordsworth

Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength. – Betty Friedan

Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. – John Lennon

I’m not old, I’m a classic. – Unknown

Age is simply the number of years the world has been enjoying you.

Youth has no age. – Pablo Picasso

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles! – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese. – Billie Burke

When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day. – Marty Buccella

Ageing is just another word for living. – Cindy Joseph

The good thing about being old is not being young. – Stephen Richards

I found my first grey pubic hair. That’s the last time I eat at your house.- Unknown

By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it. – George Burns

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. – Mae West

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. – Will Rogers

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles M. Schulz

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. – Eleanor Roosevelt

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been. – Madeleine L’Engle

It matters not how long we live but how. – Philip James Bailey

One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming. – Morgan Harper Nichols

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. – George Bernard Shaw

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain

With age comes skill – it’s called multitasking. I can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart and pee all at the same time! – Unknown

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge – Spike Milligan

Famous Celebrity Quotes About Getting Older and Aging

Ageing is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. – David Bowie

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young. – Theodore Roosevelt

A man once asked Cher, “Don’t you think you’re too old to be running around the stage like that singing rock ’n’ roll?” She replied, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Mick Jagger?”

I like to say the word ‘life-ing’ instead of ageing. Chasing youth is just futile. You’re never going to get there, so it’s like, why not just embrace what’s going on. – Pamela Anderson

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. – Charles M. Schulz

Old age ain’t no place for sissies. – Bette Davis

Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up. – John Wagner

You’ll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to. – Woody Allen

When we were small children, we all played dress-up and everybody had a good time. So why stop? – Iris Apfel

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is. – Ellen DeGeneres

There is nothing more aging than misery. – Joanna Lumley

We honour ourselves and the process of life by embracing aging. – Cameron Diaz

Want more hilarious quotes and poems?

Send your poetry or quote blog requests to my  email: hello@jessieparker.co 

Or drop me a comment below.